


The Darkest of Nights

by NikoArtagnan



Series: The Introspective Thoughts of a Mr. Bilbo Baggins [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst galore, Bilbo Still Has Issues, Dark Thoughts, Gen, I Am Not Kind To My Characters, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Pining, pretty short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:52:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1201912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikoArtagnan/pseuds/NikoArtagnan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Thorin banishes him from Erebor, Bilbo finds a moment to recover and regret while battle looms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkest of Nights

**Author's Note:**

> All aboard the good ship Angst!

The sun is slowly sinking beneath the sky, and the night is coming fast, cold and harsh, unforgiving.

 

The camp of Men and Elves is in a frenzy, preparing hastily for the battle that will come at noon tomorrow, when the Defiler’s army would reach them. The Elves and Men would stand against them, and with them would be…

 

Something in Bilbo’s heart wails with grief and his bruised, battered throat aches as though fingers are still wrapped tightly around it.

 

He runs his fingers very lightly over the bruised flesh, gasping as the touch brings even more pain.

 

_-“You miserable rat! You undersized burglar!” Thorin’s eyes are chips of obsidian in a face gone dead-white with fury, and Bilbo has no time at all to react before those hands that once smoothed away his tears are around his throat and squeezing painfully tight, swinging him out above the wall and he clutches desperately at them, because if he falls he’ll die-_

 

Bilbo rubs his eyes furiously, trying not to weep, because he is tired of crying.

 

He instead looks up at the sky, at the clear, cloudless expanse of darkness dotted with multitudes of stars, and looks to the brightest star of them all, the one that blazes high above the mountain, the _Evenstar_.

 

He leans against the wall of Laketown, and his eyes film over with tears, blurring the _Evenstar_ from view.

 

Gandalf hadn’t been lying, had he, when he’d told Bilbo that if he survived the quest, he would never be the same.

 

 _-“You’ll have your gold,” Thorin snarls, tossing Bilbo to the ground, ignoring his sob of pain. “You can have all the gold of Erebor if you’ll take_ that _with you as you go.” And Bilbo staggers to his feet and runs away, away from Thorin and the dwarves he thought had been like his family, but now look at him with eyes as cold as their King’s-_

 

Bilbo feels a hysterical burst of laughter erupt from his throat, bubbling like acid until it bursts free into the night.

 

No, he wasn’t the same Hobbit he’d been back at Bag End. He was no respectable Hobbit anymore. He’d journeyed with Kings and royalty, met and dined with elves, fought against orcs, staged rescue attempts, tricked a dragon…

 

_(…loved a King…)_

 

No, no, no, no, Eru help him, he could not think of that now.

 

But he closes his eyes and all he can see are Thorin's face crinkled in warmth, smiling just for him

 

_-“You’ll pay for this betrayal, Halfling!”-_

 

And he gives up the fight against tears.

**Author's Note:**

> *sighs* Bilbo, baby, why do you make it so easy to torment you?


End file.
